An open letter to Random House.

Dear Random House:

God, do you suck.

Can you tell me why you chose to have some author bother writing a book called The Triumph of the Thriller: How Cops, Crooks, and Cannibals Captured Popular Fiction? I mean, it's a good idea and all. I was very excited to read it, because I am nerdy and like to read books about reading. Before I settled in to read the whole thing, I wanted to check what the author said about James Patterson, because I hate James Patterson (mainly because he's, as one of the characters in the movie "Office Space" referred to Michael Bolton, a "no-talent ass clown."). I know that also makes me nerdy. Still.

So imagine my consternation when I flipped to the index to research Patterson and found THAT THERE WAS NO INDEX.

I ask you, what the hell is the point of a book like this if you're not going to offer an index?  You think a whole ton of pleasure readers are out there dying to pick up a book titled The Triumph of the Thriller? Somehow I doubt it. Students, researchers, librarians, nerds like me, that should have been your bread and butter.

And do you know what nerds like me say to books that need indexes and publishers who don't provide them? Fuck you, you cheap bastards. After all, just because I'm a nerd doesn't mean I don't believe in profanity.

Sincerely,

Citizen Reader

Comments

[Melanie]

I hate nonfiction books without indicies. Is that the right word? There are alot of fiction books out there that need them too. And maps - I love a book with a map.

[laura]

It's a pity, really, because I remember reading a review of the book when it came out that talked about how much it dissed Patterson. But of course I can't tell you where in the book it does that. Phooey to you indeed, Random House.

[Citizen Reader]

Melanie,
As far as I've ever been able to tell, both "indexes" and "indices" are correct, although the former is preferred. I always like to say "indices" myself, although I've trained myself to say indexes, because I'm an absolute slave to the desires of Merriam Webster's 11th edition college dictionary.

God, I am a nerd.

I agree. More indices! More pictures! More maps! In this age of abundance do we really have to be so cheap with the indices and the maps? Sad.

[Citizen Reader]

Laura,
Yes, "phooey" would have been a nicer way to say that. But any huge conglomerate publisher who's too cheap to pay some poor freelance indexer does deserve the full expletive.

See? I'd like to be able to tell you what the book says about Patterson, but I can't...on principle, now, since I'm not going to read the whole book like a sucker.

[Pop Tart]

I just read this one - yes the Pop Tart read some nonfiction and of course you can probably guess why. I'll admit I didn't notice the lack of an index, but I didn't really look either. Guess that's my non-nonfiction reading experience showing. And while I agree that the lack of one is a bad, bad thing, I did enjoy his writing style. And his overviews of the earlier thrillers in particular worked for me. I did wish he'd included more female authors and the ones he did include seemed to get a lot less of a treatment then their male counterparts.

I'd also question some of his melding of what I'd consider straight mysteries and the thriller oeuvre. Yes, you can go ahead and kill me for using that word. At least I didn't throw trope in here. (whoops just did).

[Tripp]

I read bits of this one. I was interested in what he had to say about Charles McCarry, but overall there was way too much spoilerage, so I put it down.

[Citizen Reader]

Pop Tart! You beat me to it! I was going to suggest this one, but of course you've seen it already. You know your stuff, madam.

I'm still going to read it; I'm particularly interested in the Agatha Christie section, as I love Agatha Christie. So here's the question for you: do you think more men read thrillers than women, vice versa, or is the readership pretty evenly split, with everyone enjoying the oeuvre?

(See, two can play that game, although I to cheat and consult your comment for the spelling of the word.)

Tripp,
Also not surprised that you've seen this one! Y'all are so well read--I stand in awe. I'm kind of excited about the spoilerage--the way I see it, that'll save me a lot of time (thereby not having to read the actual thrillers...although I did just check out "The Killing Floor" by Lee Child and am somewhat excited about it...)

[Pop Tart]

Do more men read thrillers? I think the answer would depend on how you define thrillers. Do more men read Clive Cussler, Tom Clancy, David Baldacci and the like - definitely. But if thrillers includes psychological suspense or even the dreaded (to some minds) romantic suspense then it evens out a bit. And if you include some of the mystery authors that Anderson explores in this book, then I think balance is achieved.

And count me as appreciating all the spoilerage - if he hadn't written it that way then the analysis would have been a lot more sketchy. That being said, Tripp's point is well taken. Readers who want to catch up on the authors Anderson is talking about should probably avoid this one.

[Tripp]

I can't wait to see what you think of the Killing Floor. The reactions I have seen are all over the place. Mine was positive.

[heidi]

One word: interns. Not smart enough to work the indexing function in the RH word processing program.

James Patterson is my Jodi Picoult. I wish I could see the look on my face when someone I like offers me a "great book" they just read, and whips out something by James Patterson. Please. I've gained more intellectually from the wrapper on my Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap.

[The Laundress]

ah,

I too hate James Patterson. But I love the idea of a one-line index, with a "see also" reference: No Talent Ass Clown. Oh, wait, would that be listed under "Bolton, Michael" or "Patterson, James"?
(okay, I just love that totally new to me phrase "ass clown" did you coin that or is that some sort of hipper vernacular than my middle-of-hell world? or is it something like dumbass clown??)
Stuck on you, nerd girl. Who is the scary PopTart, full of tropes and oeuvres? Someone we might eat an omelet with, perhaps? (hiya Ms. Tart!)

[Citizen Reader]

Laundress,
Oh, how I wish I could take credit for "Ass Clown." I could then die happy. Not me, though, it was Mike Judge who gave me that line in his fantabulous movie "Office Space."
In my mental index, James Patterson and Michael Bolton (and Thomas Friedman) are all filed alphabetically under the main heading "Ass Clown."
We must omelet it up soon. Pop Tart, you in?

[Citizen Reader]

Heidi,
Tee hee. I enjoyed the comparison of Patterson to a soap label, with the soap being the victor. I know, I've had to tread very carefully sometimes, when people offer me Patterson AND Picoult books.