No, I can't forgive you.

I did not enjoy Lee Israel's Can You Ever Forgive Me? Memoirs of a Literary Forger. The story's simple. Israel, who was, for a time, a bestselling biographer of such titles as Estee Lauder: Beyond the Magic and Miss Tallulah Bankhead, recounts her freefall into authorial obscurity and poverty (particularly after sales of the Estee Lauder bio tanked). So what did she do to make her living? Why, she started forging letters from such luminaries as Dorothy Parker, Noel Coward, and film star Louise Brooks, of course. Isn't that what anyone would do?

Israel explains her methods, which included visiting letter and author archives, tracing signatures, and stealing old, blank pieces of paper from those collections to use as the authentic antique paper for her forgeries. Eventually she graduated to stealing letters and re-selling them, along with an accomplice, until she was caught by the FBI in 1992 and eventually sentenced to five years' probation. I'd like to explain the whole sordid affair better, but I'll admit I only skimmed the 127 pages of the narrative, as, in addition to sounding snarky, Israel managed to make her tale dull as well.

Wondering if she feels any remorse? Nah. Here she explains it:

"The forged letters were larky and fun and totally cool. Parodies of icons--Coward, Ferber, Mrs. Parker, Louise, Lillian Hellman, and poor Clara Blandick. They totaled approximately 100,000 words, give or take...I still consider the letters to be my best work. Reminiscent of Dustin Hoffman's summing up in Tootsie, I was a better writer as a forger than I had ever been as a writer. Any remorse I experience about this phase of my life in crime has nothing to do with the money various dealers might have lost; I think most of the dealers came out ahead. The remorse here is personal. I betrayed some people whom I had grown to like." (p. 127.)

Wow, how very heartfelt. Oh, and Ms. Israel, your forgeries of Dorothy Parker? I'm pretty sure anyone who read them was probably convinced by her forged signature, while they simultaneously thought, hmm, Mrs. Parker must have been having an off day. You, madam, ARE NO DOROTHY PARKER.

What a stupid book. Skip it.

Comments

[Brian]

Did you see the NYTimes review of this book? http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/books/review/Mallon-t.html?scp=1&sq=%22lee%20israel%22&st=cse I won't lie, it made me interested, but now you've turned me off. Does the author often use phrases like "totally cool"? That's a problem. Thanks for the warning.

[Citizen Reader]

Brian,
I did not see that review, and I thank you for the link. In my opinion, the review is bullshit, written by one NY literati/academic (I think he lives in Washington, D.C., actually, but close enough) to help sell copies of a book by another NY "literati." And I REALLY take umbrage that Mallon says Israel would have caught the interest of Joseph Mitchell--chronicler of the downtrodden and truly eccentric in NY. Please. There is nothing eccentric about a drinking problem, high rents, and the need for money, then turning to crime to get money. That's about as un-eccentric as it gets, frankly.

I don't care if it's a "victimless" or glitzy crime. It still sucks. If you still want to read this book--and about the only thing it's got going for it is that it's short and you can read it in a couple hours--check it out from a library. You can still always buy it later if you'd like. And yes--"totally cool" is an exact quote. How's that for graceless writing? You see what I mean about this woman NOT being Dorothy Parker?

[Citizen Reader]

Of course, if you wanted to emulate Ms. Israel, you could always STEAL this book from the library. Classy.

[Brian]

I think you make your point(s) well. I'm convinced! And in my defense, even if a defense isn't necessary at this point, I was initially concerned about this book, then only momentarily intrigued after reading the review (which struck me as odd at the time - and your assessment makes sense), and now I'm returning to my original skepticism, possibly advancing to anger once I give it more thought. Kudos!

[Venta]

C.R. You write the best reviews of bad books! It's an art form.

[Citizen Reader]

Thanks, Brian--I maintain it may be worth a look if anything about it originally piqued your interest. If anything, if you read it and don't like it, you can give full throttle to your anger!

Venta,
You're kind, thanks. Bad books piss me off so maybe I write about them with more passion? Sometimes the books make it easy though, particularly with phrases like "totally cool."

[heather (errantdreams)]

Even if I were interested in reading this, which I'm not, I wouldn't---just because I wouldn't want to contribute to lining her pockets even further. Takes gall to first forge those documents, then publish a book about it to capitalize on the situation. Talk about opportunistic.

[Citizen Reader]

You can get an AMEN from this chorus, sister Heather!