Second verse, same as the first.

This is what my sister has been saying about the new year, and although I have high hopes for 2009 (in my own pessimistic way; mainly I'm hoping it's no worse than 2008), I figure she's probably right.

Evidence for that can be found in my long list of overdue books from the library. It's time to own up and admit I'm never going to get everything that's currently overdue read and just take them back. The most ironic title on the stack? The Experts' Guide to Doing Things Faster: 100 Ways to Make Life More Efficient, by Samantha Ettus.

On the bright side, I don't think I'll be missing much. I did page through this one, and although parts of it look intriguing ("Clean Your Home," "Cook a Meal," "Make Your Computer Run Faster,") most of it looks like things I don't want to be doing at all, much less faster: "Tackle Your To-Do List," "Choose a Healthy Snack," "Style Your Hair." It's a very odd little book, each short chapter being written by a different expert, and even the chapters that seemed like they might be helpful weren't all that fresh ("Recover from Surgery: Push yourself through the mental pain that accompanies every part of rehabilitation." Not all that clever, although the fact that this chapter was written by an NFL player who's been through 29 surgeries was mildly interesting. Here's what I actually learned from that chapter: Encourage nephews to never, ever take up football.).

What I'm really looking for, I guess, is the Guide to Getting Out of Things I Don't Want to Do (Chapter 1: Cleaning, Chapter 2: Working, Chapter 3: Anything that isn't reading, really), not a guide for simply doing things faster.

Comments

[Tripp]

I have this weird concern that if I take a library book back it means I will never check it out again, so I end up renewing books as long as possible. This means I get the embarrassing "you have renewed this too many times" message a few times a year.

Looks like I can skip that one though.

[Citizen Reader]

Oh, Tripp, I have that too. "I'll never remember to get this book out again!" Somewhere along the line you just have to make your peace with that, although judging by my pile of overdues, I still haven't managed it.

[Sarah]

I have a whole mess of fading date-due slips which I meant to use them for a list of books checked out but not read. Hmmmm. Guess I didn't do that either.

[Care]

My solution to the library due date problem is to only check out one at a time!

[Citizen Reader]

Sarah,
I like that idea. But if I leave any more clutter and date-due slips and paper and books around this house, Mr. CR's head is going to explode. Glad to hear I'm not the only one with ideas I'm not acting on, though...

Care,
You're probably wise, but gosh, I could never hold myself to one book. My dream for the world is for books to be strewn everywhere so I never have to be without one. Books in doctor's offices, books on park benches, at the bank, at the post office, everywhere. That's the effect I'm going for in my house, anyway--a book on every surface!

[allison carter]

You can write the Expert's Guide to Returning Your Books on Time. ha!
How 'bout starting by designating one shelf for library books only. Then you won't lose them around the house.

BTW, is it really fair to review a book you don't want to read and not even really read it?

[Citizen Reader]

Allison,
Well, unfortunately, I am clearly not the expert on returning books. A book on how not to get enough work done, that I could write. I don't often lose library books, I don't have that much stuff in my house other than books, and I have no kids to add layers of complexity to my life, but still--I'd just like to get better at taking them back on time so the next person can have them.

Your question about reviewing a book I haven't completely read (I did read parts of it, and flipped through it all) is fair, but let's face it. I would guess 99% of book reviewers who are getting paid to do it for a living (which I'm emphatically not) aren't reading every page of every book they review. Not that that makes it right. You'll notice I didn't even pan the book--I gave it the tag "Not for Me" as opposed to "Phoning it In." Perhaps I'll write a book on "100 Things I Do In a Half-Ass Way, but at Least I Do Them Fast"--especially if "faster" is our only measure for better.

[Care]

I may have offered up a brilliant solution but please don't audit my bookstack and count how many library books I've got.

[Citizen Reader]

Oh man, I totally missed an opportunity to be ironic and say, well, that is how you review books FASTER--you just don't read them! (Insert drum sting here.)

Care,
I promise not to count library books on your shelves if you promise not to mock me for carrying huge stacks of books out of my library on a semi-daily basis. I'm sure we can arrive at a compromise.

[Venta]

I once told my sister I was reading one of those "how to find more time by taking control of your life" books, and she said the only way to do that is to quit your job. I thought that was true until I had two weeks of snow days, and the house isn't any cleaner, the dogs didn't get brushed more and I didn't bake more than usual. I read and goofed. Oh, well. At least the books are hopeful.

[Jessica]

Try reading "How to Be Idle" by Tom Hodgkinson.

[Rebecca]

Hi, great blog you have here.

I am with everyone else in that returning library books on time is an impossible task. In fact, I rarely check any books out from the library for this reason alone. I can't even remember to renew them. I end up paying fines and think, I could have just bought the thing and not worried about it anymore. So now I am a used book store junkie. :) The library is still a great place, but I have to be very selective there, one book at a time...so not my style. :)