Authors to boycott.

Lately I've been seeing a lot of new book releases that have me thinking, "God, I hate [insert author name here] and I wish we could set up an Author Boycott." I've actually been thinking of listing those authors I consider boycottable in the sidebar, sans links to their books, but then I thought, do I really want to be reminded of all the authors that annoy me on a daily basis? Not so much. So I've decided to work out all my crank* here, today, in a special Fall 2009 edition of "Authors I Dislike on Principle, Even Though That's Not Very Open-Minded of Me."

1. Mitch Albom. Albom is the male equivalent of Jodi Picoult, and reading him is making our nation dumber by the minute. This fall he has come out with another book supposedly designed to instill quasi-religious self-discovery in his readers (Have a Little Faith), but which is really produced and sold only to make Mitch Albom yet another bucketful of money, since evidently he didn't invest the bucketful of money he's already made from Tuesdays with Morrie wisely. Albom is also noteworthy for getting in trouble for reporting on a basketball game as though he was there (which he wasn't) when he was a sports reporter. What did Morrie have to say about the ethics of that one, Mitch?

2. The Freakonomics guys have come out with Superfreakonomics, which is actually subtitled "Global cooling, patriotic prostitutes, and why suicide bombers should buy life insurance," but which might as well be titled "hey, our first shitty book, wherein we just made stuff up and tied it to economics and statistical theory with the most tenuous of links, sold really well, mainly because we wrote about all shocking and provocative topics and stuff." Other researchers have pointed out how their oh-so-controversial (by book-selling design) "abortion has lowered crime" conclusion** from their first book is based on flawed research; I'm sure, given a little time, similar articles could (and hopefully will?) be written debunking each chapter in this new piece of pseudoscientific trash. In his defense, Levitt got it completely right when he was interviewed on The Daily Show and pointed out that he's no scientist. I couldn't agree more, sir. Anyone who accepts this book as acceptable "nonfiction" never gets to complain about the lack of facts and/or "truth" in the nonfiction publishing sector, ever again.

3. Jonathan Safran Foer, whose appeal as a novelist I have never understood, has written a book about his newly minted vegetarianism titled Eating Animals. Thankfully, I don't have to pick on this one; Jessa Crispin over at Bookslut has already done that for me. Here's what she had to say: "I am trying so hard to be nice to Jonathan Safran Foer, by which I mean I am trying to forget he exists on this planet. His book Eating Animals, however, is making this goal very, very difficult. It was bad enough when he was writing shitty novels, but now he's indulging in my least favorite form of nonfiction: the 'I have never thought about this thing before until now, and despite the fact that other people have thought about this for years and wrestle daily with the implications, I think my brand new thoughts should be shared with the world.'" Amen, sister. Also? I don't like anyone who picks on Anthony Bourdain. Don't pick on Bourdain, dude. You're going to lose. He's smarter than you AND he has a sense of humor.

4. Any author whose book is being sold for $10 this week, and I'm looking at you, Barbara Kingsolver and John Grisham. I don't know if you had any say in that, but if you could've said no to that and didn't, I'll be very unhappy with you. Like it isn't hard enough for new authors to break into the system, now you're using your fame to offer your books at half the prices of theirs? What is the point of that?

5. Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story, by Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Kidd Taylor. Woman power, life changes, midlife crises, will marriage consume me?, blah blah blah. I know. As the cynical daughter of a no-nonsense farm woman, I have no business even looking at a Sue Monk Kidd book. But I can never help myself, particularly when she helps her daughter to get in on the publishing bounty of schmaltzy womanly topics (another master of this is Jeffrey Zaslow: see The Girls from Ames). Consider Sue's story about getting her own wedding dress: "It was the first wedding dress I tried on. I fell in love with it at first sight, but when I noticed the price, my heart sank. Six hundred dollars, a fortune.*** I tried to be stoic about it, and Mother and I kept looking, trudging from shop to shop, until finally she proclaimed she didn't care what the dress cost, we were going back to get it. 'It's only money,' she said, as if steeling herself." (p. 150.) Now THAT is the proper way to go into a marriage, caring only that you get what is perfect for yourself, no matter how much your loved ones have to scrimp and save to get it for you. That's beautiful, man.

Okay, I think that's it. Thanks for letting me vent, especially going into the weekend--I feel a lot better! Have a nice one, all.

*Well, a lot of my crank, anyway. I've got crank to spare so expecting to dump it all in one day's worth of posting is probably unrealistic.

**Full disclosure: I am in fact anti-abortion so that conclusion particularly annoyed me, especially in light of how the authors massaged their data to arrive at it. It's only fair you know of my bias; but I think even without that I would think the Freakonomics books are poor examples of "nonfiction." They are, however, good examples of a tenet I believe in, which is that you can make numbers and statistics prove anything you want them to prove.

***Please note: that's 600 dollars in 1968 money. Anybody know what that amounts to today? Oh wait, I do, thanks to The Inflation Calculator: "What cost $600 in 1968 would cost $3673.94 in 2008." 

Comments

[J.S. Peyton]

I agree with almost every book you have on this list, except #4. I'm currently taking classes in book publishing (of all things), and one thing they constantly reinterate is that authors have no say whatsoever in what their books sell for. They sign over those rights when they contract with a publishing house. Also, publishers can't legally tell booksellers how much to sell their books for. The price you see on the book cover is merely the "suggested" retail price. Booksellers buy copies of a book in bulk from the publisher and can then sell that book at any price that they want.

I'm willing to bet a lot of the authors whose books are selling for $10 are not happy about it at all. I know for a fact publishers aren't. The real villains are Amazon and Walmart who are cheapening the value of books so they can attract visitors to their site who, they hope, will also buy other things.

[Citizen Reader]

J.S.,
Hear, hear. Thank you for the insight on the process, which is completely shitty (IMHO).
Add to the Boycott list: Amazon (which hurts me, but has to be done), and Wal-Mart (evil empire that they are; read the fantastic book "In Sam We Trust" if you disagree).

[Citizen Reader]

Other relevant self-disclosure: I don't care for Barbara Kingsolver at all, so I wasn't going to be boycotting "The Lacuna" on price alone. :)

[lesbrarian]

Well if that doesn't just hit the Jonathan Safran Foer nail on the head. Heh!

A bit of defense for Sue Monk Kidd. I tried once to read one of her novels and couldn't-- women's fiction is not my thing-- but her nonfiction has a really interesting history. She started as a conservative Southern Baptist but eventually gravitated toward a woman-centric, goddess-influenced version of faith. Her memoir Dance of the Dissident Daughter discusses her feminist spiritual awakening, and I liked it well enough.

Because I majored in Women's Studies in college, I have read a LOT of women's writing on goddesses, feminist spirituality, etc.; SMK's book doesn't stand out when compared with the whole ouevre, but for those who have not read exhaustively in the area, it's a worthwhile read-- not brilliant, but definitely solid. I'll agree to girlcott the Pomegranates book, but I'm not willing to dismiss SMK entirely.

[Tripp]

I am with you in nearly all cases here, but I will say that I have to take a pass on #4, at least in the case of Stephen King. I want that Under the Dome book.

[Citizen Reader]

Lesbrarian!
Glad to be in good company with you and Bookslut on JSF.
I just wrote a big long reply about SMK, but the blog ate it, which is technology's way of saying the reply was too long and made no sense. I've read parts of "Dance of the Dissident Daughter," and although I can't remember particulars, I do remember being annoyed that one of her big goddess epiphanies came after she overheard two jerk men making icky comments as they looked at her daughter (SMK was in the drugstore where her daughter worked and saw the men there). Now, I'm guessing that icky guys, even if they were women, would still be assholes, so it seemed a bit off to base your whole goddess feminist spiritual philosophy on a response to two assholes, thereby giving the men even more power. Must our "woman power" always be a response to "the man"? That doesn't seem quite right either.

But I'm willing to give a bit on that; I'll admit I am not the target audience for goddess narratives or woman power treatises. Anyone else read any SMK nonfiction and want to comment?

Tripp,
Okay, that's fair, and I've been schooled by J.S. on exactly how little control authors have. But consider not getting the King from Amazon or Wal-Mart, just to stick it to them, will you?

[katharine]

Cranky CR is my favorite. I say add the Author Boycott sidebar, it will let new readers know your opinions right away when they come to your site. And as an aside, my wedding gown was $30 and from Sears and this year was our tenth anniversary. I agree, it don't matter what you spend on the dress honey.

[Robin]

That was 30 South Dakotan dollars though, right? Sorry, Katharine, we "plains girls" should stick together. And I'm completely with you in adoration of Cranky CR. She was brilliant to include the Inflation Calculator link!

[Citizen Reader]

Katharine,
Glad to oblige on the crank! And happy anniversary, you crazy kids. You don't look nearly old enough to be married ten years, that is quite the achievement!

In all fairness, I should note that Ann Kidd Taylor wore her mother's wedding dress, so they did get it down to an $1836 per-wear cost. Still! Thirty bucks sounds closer to the mark. I wore my grandma's dress so I got it free (thanks for holding on to it all those years, Mom) except for having to have it fixed up a bit and cleaned, which did cost me a cool hundred. But thousands? Thousands of dollars to me seems like what vacations and vehicles should cost, not dresses. :)

[lesbrarian]

I'm sure the guys in the drugstore were assholes regardless, but they only chose to reveal it to SMK's daughter *because* she was a female. They weren't just harassing her; they were sexually harassing her. Ergo SMK wasn't just angry; she was angry for sex-related reasons. It was the seed of her eventual feminist consciousness.

It was, however, only the seed. SMK went on to develop a complex, layered goddess feminist spiritual philosophy that had nothing to do with the two assholes. It's just that, prior to that incident, she'd lived with her head buried in the sand. The upshot: Kidd's woman power isn't a response to the man.

Anyhoo, if you ever do get a hankering for goddess narratives or woman power books or what have you, not that I am exactly holding my breath for that, I'll see if I can find something you'd like better. (Come to think of it, I wrote a book to that effect...)

[Citizen Reader]

Robin,
I do my fair share of bitching about technology, but finding things like the Inflation Calculator makes me very happy. Now that's technology I can use! Now if only I could find a calculator that converts South Dakotan dollars into US currency...

Lesbrarian,
Yeeeaaahhhh.....I dunno, still seems like a response to the man. I just can't get over my ambivalence regarding a feminist spiritual philosophy. Can't we just have one that's people-centric, encompassing all the sexes?

I have your book (please note: Jessica Zellers's Women's Nonfiction: A Guide to Reading Interests, is now available! http://lu.com/showbook.cfm?isbn=9781591586586, and it's a good book, too!) but I can't promise I'll get to the woman power books real soon. But someday? Never say never.

Oh, I know what I wanted to ask. Does Carrie Fisher's "Wishful Drinking" count as a goddess narrative? Because that woman's a goddess to me. Love her, that feisty gal.

[lesbrarian]

Feminist spiritual philosophies are appealing because they emphasize nature, peace, and boobs and hips. Let's have a nice round of applause for the Venus of Willendorf!

Let me know when you've read my intro. I don't expect anybody to read the whole book, but the intro's not that long.

Carrie Fisher is a goddess, absolutely. I haven't read Wishful Drinking but it's floating around on my TBR list.

[Tripp]

CR, I plan to wait until paperback anyway, so I will be spiting them all.

[Brandon]

The more I read about Foer, the more cheeseburgers I eat. He makes me want to eat a gigantic slab of rare, bloody steak. He's pissing me off.

[Viktoria]

You're an idiot.

[Citizen Reader]

Okay, Tripp, as long as you're spiting somebody, I'm happy.

Brandon,
Now THAT is the proper response to JSF.

Viktoria,
Flattery will get you everywhere.

[Pop Tart]

I'm with you on all of these - particularly the SMK and JSF's. In thinking about the nonfiction by women you do generally gravitate towards (like) I'd have to say much of it sounds like a cross between your no-nonsense mother and the cynic in you. Carrie Fisher, Helene Hanff, Joan Didion. All are women who've had their share of life's ups and downs and they just get on with it. I really appreciate that about all of these women - and you too CR.

[Anonymous Library Employee]

I love Anthony Bourdain for so many reasons, not the least of which is his asking Mario Batali, on the subject of the latter's food/travel series with Gwyneth Paltrow, "Why would you go to Spain with the one b*** who won't eat ham?" Precisely. I heart you, nasty sarcastic but also correct Bourdain.

[Laura]

Calling people who don't eat ham bitches? Doesn't sound cool to me.

I agree with most of your list CR, but I have to admit I really enjoyed Freakanomics - but I didn't know that his research was flawed. I'll have to look into that! That's definitely not cool! I'll also admit to being curious about Eating Animals, although I haven't picked it up yet.

[Citizen Reader]

ALE,
Ah, Bourdain. He's not very nice, but I can't help hearting him too.

Although, Laura, your point has merit too. I'm thinking he could have come up with a more creative yet not so mean term for Gwyneth, something along the lines of how she's a nice girl, but really dull compared to the other Spanish woman on that Batali Spain show--there's one word for that type of thing, right? I'm sure Bourdain could find it if he applied himself. I don't even mind Gwyneth, but she doesn't really even have sparks on that show with Mark Bittman, which I totally don't understand. Then again, I also have a crush on Bittman.

Laura, in all fairness, I should also point out that the "flawed research" charge is being made by other researchers who are simply not happy with the Freakonomics' authors data-crunching. Now, I recognize that I am choosing to accept their word at face value, which is probably naive of me, but I always tend to err on the side of people who aren't milking sensationalistic ideas for money. (Which is, at the end of the day, all I think Levitt and Dubner are doing.) I'm not arguing with you that the books are total eye candy--interesting and very easy to read. I suspect that's where Dubner came in, to spice up Levitt's ideas, which already were pretty spicy, which leads me to believe Levitt must be REALLY dull on his own, if he couldn't write up his own "prostitutes make more money working with pimps" conclusions in a slightly interesting way.

Goodness! I have officially given Freakonomics too much thought. I'll probably also pick up the JSF, just because I'll be too curious not to.

[Citizen Reader]

Pop Tart:
Thank you for thinking I just get on with it, but now you know the secret that when I get knocked down, my belief is that it's easier to stay down than to struggle back up. Not real inspiring. :)

Oh, Helene Hanff. Thank you for the reminder. Now THAT is women's nonfiction!

[Pop Tart]

CR I think you just wait for the idiot(s) who knocked you down to fade away and then you just get on with it . I think waiting for idiocy to pass is perfectly reasonable.

[Jessica]

Wow! Look how much everyone enjoys crankiness!

I am planning to read the JSF book in the next week or two. I'm a vegan and I feel I have to confront these things with my sword and shield. I thought "Everything is Illuminated" was dreadful.

My mom keeps making me read Mitch Albom. It's that, Harlequin romance novels, or don't talk to her at all, so I take it for the team. But... brrrr!

"Freakonomics" on audio made me wreck my car. I enjoyed the book, but now I'm wondering if I was caught in some kind of anti-intellectual miasma that negatively affected my driving abilities. Hmm, wonder if there's a book deal in that theory...

[Savvy Working Gal]

CR,
Check out TimesOnline's worst book of the decade:
1. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (2003)