This spring I'll be helping host a baby shower for a family member. This is hilarious, because I don't attend baby showers*, so I am uniquely unprepared to know what goes on at them, and what needs to be planned.
So, as per usual, I checked out some books from the library. I requested what seemed like a nice, basic title: Baby Showers: Ideas and Recipes for the Perfect Party, by Gia Russo and Michele Adams. This book has been a total hoot. Consider:
"A theme gives immediate direction to your celebration and helps to determine the guest list, the decor, the palette, the menu, the favors, and the gifts." (p. 12.)
It then goes on to list four themes: Daisy Brunch, Luncheon for Mom, Decorating the Nursery, and Heirlooms and Memories. For the "Decorating the Nursery" theme, the book suggests making hand-made invitations out of paint sample strips ("using the X-acto knife, carefully cut paint chips from paint cards. Design a pattern with the paint chips on a note card..."); the recipes included here are for such things as Smoked Salmon Bites, Blanched Asparagus with Lemon-dill Dipping Sauce, and Chilled Avocado Soup.
Tee hee. I'm thinking my theme will be "Midwestern Focus on Food Over Themes," featuring pre-printed invitations, ham buns, and some pans of bars. If anyone has any ideas for less-painful-than-usual shower games, please do let me know in the comments, would you? I don't know that I have the strength to check out any more books on the subject.
*I believe that every time a bridal or baby shower is held, women's rights take a big step backward.
Here is one my wife tried that was fun. Make a list of quotes from favorite children's stories. Have the participants guess the books.
Another idea is to have a book party where people bring their fave kid books for the newborn.
Posted by: Tripp | 11 February 2010 at 12:26 PM
I don't do baby showers. At one several years ago they put different candy bars in baby diapers and microwaved them to melt them and the guests had to guess what the candy bar was. Very disgusting. Try a nurshery rhyme theme and everyone brings a book for Mom/Dad or baby. No games, just eat :)
Posted by: Melanie | 11 February 2010 at 12:30 PM
Tripp--thank you; good tips all. I found it interesting that my first good tip came from a guy! (Mr. CR has loudly requested that this not be a couples shower, which has been his main input thus far.)
Melanie,
Oh, god, that story has me laughing and crying both. I stand by the fact that that sort of thing moves women backwards--can you imagine ol' Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton playing the melted chocolate in the diaper game?
Holy cow, this post has been worth it just for that story. I can say I've never had to sit through anything that bad. I will not be suggesting it as a game for this shower.
Posted by: Citizen Reader | 11 February 2010 at 01:38 PM
fun game suggestion. get old parenting magazines from local library magazine swap, have shower attendees break into groups and make crazy collages of what you think baby will look like from pics in magazines. Needless to say at the shower I attended there was lots of big headed babies with inappropriate things on their bodies. It was a nice keepsake for the new mommy too. It was pretty fun, but you got have a sorta creative crowd to do it. I agree with the baby books suggestion, you can never have enough for younguns to chew on.
Posted by: katharine | 11 February 2010 at 01:46 PM
"I believe that every time a bridal or baby shower is held, women's rights take a big step backward."
Could agree more! Unfortunately, I too am stuck planning and hosting a baby shower later this Spring. It's a work thing, so I'm totally inviting all the guys in the dept too - it's time we stopped letting them off the hook for this sort of goofy stuff! I'm so tempted to do the candy bar thing . . .
I've heard of games/torture sessions that involve guessing the mom-to-be's girth and then measuring her in front of everyone to see who wins (although it's my contention that NO ONE wins with these sorts of shenanigans).
If I came up with a game, it would be something along the lines of guess which personality disorders/neuroses/phobias the baby will end up with. Hey, that could be a fun collage game too!
Posted by: Laura | 11 February 2010 at 02:10 PM
D'oh - "couldn't agree more," I meant to say.
Posted by: Laura | 11 February 2010 at 02:11 PM
hahaha
my favorite part is that the theme "helps to determine the guest list." i'm sure some of your friends and family wouldn't fit in the daisy brunch theme.
the only showers i go to anymore have to happen at a bar, so i don't know what people are playing. On the theme of children's books, i've seen an instructor ask her students to write the title of their favorite children's books on a piece of paper. Then everyone else has to guess which book goes with each student.
Posted by: Venta | 11 February 2010 at 03:31 PM
Love the "book shower" idea. You can get books for several ages, ranging from board books to toddlers to . . . .
Ham buns and bars are OK with me. Plus how about some artichoke dip? With crudites (AKA cut-up vegetables)?
Posted by: sarah | 11 February 2010 at 04:40 PM
Katharine,
Queen of the Artichoke Dips, your idea is a good one but alas, may involve more work than I'm up for. Finding magazines, hauling magazines, cutting up magazines? Hmmm. I'll admit it--you're a better woman than I. But it's definitely a better suggestion than anything I've found in books--thank you!
Laura,
Glad another anti-shower feminist is out there to give me support. Hollah, sister!
I have seen the girth game played and you're right, it doesn't reduce whatever tension may already be present in the room. And sadly, with that many women and relatives in one room, there's bound to be tension. I like the anxiety game idea. Very 21st century. Don't know if it will fly, but I like it.
Venta,
I got a charge out of that line too. Like what, we're going to leave a few relatives off who won't appropriately appreciate the paint chip invitations? MMMMmmmmm baby shower in a bar. Now that's a theme I could get behind.
And actually, the favorite children's book idea is interesting. I'd almost be hard-pressed to come up with my own favorite, though--I (mis)spent most of my youth reading politically and socially conservative books on my parents' shelves. I might get some weird looks if I list Jeremiah Denton's "When Hell Was In Session" (his prisoner of war during Vietnam memoir).
Sarah,
Yeah, I think it's hard to beat ham buns. My co-conspirator is pushing for something hot, I think, but hauling Nescos full of any kind of meat around also sounds like too. much. work.
Posted by: Citizen Reader | 11 February 2010 at 05:33 PM
Hey Laura--
Good luck with YOUR shower, by the way. I'll expect to hear details.
Posted by: Citizen Reader | 11 February 2010 at 05:34 PM
Showers.
I hate showers with a fiery passion,* and so help me if I ever merge or spawn I will not have a "real" shower. No games. Just food, drinks, and fellowship. Isn't that kinda the point? Maybe some nice gifts to help the new couple or baby?
I do like the idea of a book shower. If you have to play games, I saw one where the hostess copied pages from famous picture books, and you had to guess either the book or author/illustrator. It was fun and NOT an assault on human dignity.
I agree with Mr CR about the couples showers. They kinda suck.
*I come by this hatred honestly. In a three week span I went to my cousin's fiancee's bridal shower, where little old ladies got to see her open slutty lingerie and toys. Apparently it's a New York tradition to bring a real gift and a "bedroom" gift, which is one reason I'm glad I moved. I then got to go to my boss's wedding shower from her subordinates and work friends, which was held at Lucky Cheng's, and famous NYC drag queen restaurant. She was groped during the floor show, and one of my co-workers gave her a giant chocolate penis as a shower gift. The waitress brought her a plate of whipped cream; the night devolved from there. (Ok, it was funny, but still kinda horrid.)
Posted by: Rachael | 11 February 2010 at 07:38 PM
It seems I've been to a rash of showers recently and we played some decent games that didn't involve embarrassing the new mom or anything gross.
1. We played present bingo while she was opening gifts. There's some site that automatically makes bingo cards from a list of items (this mom had a registry, so the hostess just cut and pasted the registry). It made the potentially-boring gift-opening time better. "Please be nursing pads!" "Damn it, baby socks."
2. We played a version of concentration with post-its on a sheet of poster board. I could send you the whole list if you were interested, but the post-its were labeled A-Z (13 pairs) and for each match there was a candy prize. So Dad's name = Sugar Daddy, babysitter = life savers, breastfeeding = Milky Way etc.
3. We also played a something like bar trivia with baby/birth/family statistics.
I liked all of these because they were quick, everyone could be equally involved, and no one was singled out (mom or guests) and put on show.
Posted by: Alli | 11 February 2010 at 08:49 PM
by the way, don't get me started on having showers for people i work with (i hope none of them are reading this) if i'm friends with them, i assume i'll have to make up some excuse not to attend the "real" shower. if it's happens at work, i just don't want to go especially since there always is so much pressure to attend. i know i'm a big crab, but there are so many reasons i don't like to attend baby or wedding showers.
p.s. my favorite happened years ago: i was invited to the wedding shower but not the wedding itself. it took me a while to realize the snub.
Posted by: Venta | 12 February 2010 at 09:13 AM
Ugh, Rachael,
I've been to one of those bridal showers, where a friend spent most of the night waving penis straws and eating penis cake in front of her mother and mother-in-law-to-be. I still haven't recovered, honestly. "Kinda funny, Kinda Horrid" is what I'm going to title my book on how to throw showers, I think.
Alli,
Yeah, I've seen the Bingo game, and it seems like the least painful. Thanks for your other suggestions, too!
Oh, Venta,
I do love you. Work showers: bleah. On the hilarious side, Mr. CR has to attend a lot more of those than I do, as he is the one who works in an office. Tee hee!
I don't know what happened with your friend who invited you to the shower but not the wedding, but that is pathetic. I would call them friend no longer. That is A LOT of what bugs me about showers--they just seem to perpetuate the "culture of stuff." I mean, we have washing machines. How many cute little outfits does one baby need?
Posted by: Citizen Reader | 12 February 2010 at 11:22 AM
That is so funny that Mr. CR has to attend showers. I will think about that during the day and chuckle. That made my day.
Ugh. Baby clothes. I don't find them "cute." Trying to understand baby clothes sizes creates anxiety. And, you're right. How many outfits does a kid need?
Still laughing to myself...
Posted by: Venta | 12 February 2010 at 12:27 PM
Oh, please don't play the game where you ask all the guests to sample various disgusting baby foods and guess the variety. Seriously, the next time I have to do that, I'm going to vomit on the rug. Then we'll see if the host still finds it fun...
Posted by: Kori | 12 February 2010 at 02:47 PM
I totally forgot the "game" I did at the one and only baby shower I've thrown, celebrity baby trivia. Find out about a dozen celeb baby names and then the guests have to figure out who there parents are: it's a match up game of sorts. It gives you a chance to browse those trashy celebrity sites. If you wanted to take it to another level you could include pics, but that would involve alittle more prep. I could never convince my hubby to attend a shower, so good for Mr. CR for joining you.
Posted by: katharine | 12 February 2010 at 03:43 PM
I have a special aversion to being the focus of any shower, but my family always insists so I get to spend hours of my life receiving gifts I don't need and playing games that make me wish I had a bb gun to shoot my eye out with! Good luck and whatever you do, don't put melted chocolate in diapers as a snack!
Posted by: Jessi | 13 February 2010 at 03:01 PM
PS - I have decreed to my husband that any showers will be couple showers as I will NOT suffer alone.
Posted by: Jessi | 13 February 2010 at 03:03 PM
What is it about "showers"? I've been to *scads* of baby and bridal showers, and you know what? In only *one* instance did the beneficiary ever call me again. This sounds like a promising beginning to some sort of scandalous story, but unfortunately it's just a sign of how "showers" are all about hoovering up as many gift as possible. You know what? Babies are expensive! Anybody planning to have one knows that already. Whatever happened to hand-me-downs? I have two brothers, and as far as I know, all three of us shared not only a stroller and high chair, but also the same identical set of cloth diapers and plastic pants.
Whew. Anyway, I know all sorts of shower games. One I liked involved a bowl of dry rice mixed with safety pins. Each guest had one minute to feel for the pins while blindfolded, and whoever got out the most won a prize. It's a lot harder than it looks - unless, like me, you simply dump out the bowl. (For laughs, but for some reason everyone thought I was trying to cheat).
Another one involved guessing three sets of numbers, and whoever got the closest got prizes. The numbers were the month, day, and year of the baby's due date.
One of the best involved each guest receiving a diaper pin and avoiding using the word 'baby.' If you accidentally said it and another guest caught you, she got your pin, and whoever collected the most won.
The best game ever was for Baby's first birthday - too good a story not to share with you. A group of objects was laid out, including a dollar bill, a football, a book, and a wooden spoon. Whichever one she grabbed represented what her future would be, i.e. the dollar meant she'd be rich. She grabbed a foam stress toy shaped like a brain. Daddy said, "Aw, she's gonna be smart!" whereupon she took a big bite out of it and started to cry. I called out, "She's going to be a zombie!" which, again, nobody else thought was funny.
Maybe there *is* a reason nobody calls me after a baby shower...
Posted by: Jessica | 15 February 2010 at 02:04 AM
Well being the lush that I am I found a way to incorporate alchohol into my own baby shower (for the guests of course, me being knocked up and all) - I had a baby brunch which involved chocolate croissants, scrambled eggs, bloody marys and mimosas. A good time was had by all.
Posted by: Bookie | 18 February 2010 at 03:06 PM
Jessi--
Good for you. Husbands should definitely have to play along.
Jessica,
Thanks for the suggestions, and for the "she's going to be a zombie" line, which I MUST find some way to use. I too have always been of the opinion that showers are thinly veiled excuses to hoover up gifts (another great phrase). I guess the baby showers make sense but the bridal showers always seemed like the worst excess. What, I'm supposed to get you two gifts? And waste two Saturdays out of my life? Greedy.
Bookie,
Ha! Good for you. I have yet to go to a party that wasn't made better by mimosas. Mmmmm chocolate croissants. Now you've got me all distracted for the rest of the day.
Posted by: Citizen Reader | 19 February 2010 at 02:32 PM