But I don't want to make an apron.

When I first looked at Erin Bried's book How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew, I thought, huh, maybe I should buy this book and actually learn something.

But, as with all my good intentions, I got over it. I enjoyed the book, and there are a lot of useful things in it, but the majority of the tips and how-tos cover skills and tasks I'm simply never going to do. Every now and then I would just pick it up to flip through it a little bit, and it always opened to the chapter on "how to make an apron." This was unfortunate, as I have a perfectly good apron that I stole from Country Kitchen the summer I worked there (if you could have seen my tips from all the old couple customers, you'd know I EARNED that apron), and I'm not about to dink around trying to sew a new one. But I digress.

Other chapters include very handy outlines for the following: how to roast a whole chicken (this I should actually learn); how to compost; how to install a clothesline (this I really do want to learn); how to kill mildew; how to shine your shoes; how to unclog a drain; and many, many, more. Actually, the more closely I look at it, the more I think it is kind of a neat little book. Sadly, though, most of the directions are not hand-holding enough for me. The clothesline instructions, for example, are basically: "Dig two holes in the ground about 1 foot wide and at least 1 foot deep in your desired location. Prepare your cement according to the instructions on the bag. Spray one hole with water, fill it halfway with cement, plumb your pole, and then top of with cement..." (p. 70.)

Uh, yeah. It's nice to make it sound that easy, but it seems like plumbing the pole should involve more steps than me eyeballing it in a half-ass kinda way (which is, really, how I end up doing everything). Or maybe I'm just making everything harder than it needs to be.

Anyway, my issues notwithstanding, it's still an interesting concept for a book and I give Bried kudos for throwing it together, and for encouraging self-sufficiency.

Comments

[lesbrarian]

I am similarly hopeless. Also, I don't have an apron. That might be a neat garment to have.

Here's the crock pot way to roast a chicken:

http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/02/whole-chicken-in-crockpot-recipe.html

I am in love with that website. I mean it. In love. Not platonically. I am doodling its name in the margins of my notebook and drawing little hearts and I want to marry it. Doesn't help with composting or shoe shining, but it's awesome for food questions.

[Bibliomane]

Actually, I am of the opinion that our grandmothers did most of what they did in a half-assed manner since, really, would they have had time to do it in a scientific, step-by-step manner? Contrary to popular knowledge, most women weren't little Martha Stewarts in the 1950s. Have you ever seen clothesline poles that have been in since Grandma's time? Seriously out of plum.

I recently roasted my first whole chicken. It took something like three and a half hours, two phone calls to my mom and not a few tears. On second thought, maybe I should pick up this title, it might save me some future trauma.

[Donna]

I'm looking for some practical "how-to take care of your living space and clothes" books for my soon-to-be college graduate son. Is this that kind of book?

I don't roast whole chickens because I don't like stuffing and that's the only reason I could see for doing so. (That's how Mom did it so it must be right, huh?) Also, almost everyone in the house wants white meat. If they're not going to eat all of a whole chicken the price break doesn't seem useful. And since my brother's family hosts Thanksgiving, I've never done the turkey thing either. Sometimes I feel like a cooking failure.

[Citizen Reader]

Hey, Lesbrarian!
Hmm, crock-potting a chicken. I can quite honestly say that never crossed my mind. I think I've got a crock pot around here somewhere, I'll have to try it! Thanks. Can't wait to call you Ms. Lesbrarian Crockpot-Site.

Bibliomane,
Well, that's probably true (re: Grandmas). They probably did what they had to to get stuff done. I just happen to think my own particular grandmas were super-able ladies and probably did have straight washline poles, too. They're a tough act to follow.
And good luck on future chicken roasting endeavors!!

Donna,
Well, this is not going to be the book for him--it's too pink and dainty, and includes too many girly tips like how to give yourself your own manicure and stuff. Now, boys can get manicures, but I don't picture them giving themselves their own manicures. I know I've seen better and more useful "setting up house" type guides for guys--I'll give it some thought and see if I can't remember some titles.

Don't feel like a cooking failure. I don't feel that way and I've never roasted a turkey either--it just hasn't come up (although I make a mean meatloaf). Mr. CR is not a big fan of picking chicken off its bones--he's a boneless breast man!--which hampers my chicken experimentation too. But the lesson to make a bit more of our food from scratch, at least for a start, is still a good one, I think.

[Marmota]

My cousin's grandmother once told us that because we don't know how to can vegetables, kill, pluck and roast a chicken, bake bread, etc. that when then next depression hit we were all going to die. I hope that the economy turns around before she is proven right.

[Nursing gowns]

it seems like plumbing the pole should involve more steps than me eyeballing it in a half-ass kinda way. :D

[Citizen Reader]

Marmota,
I have often thought that when the Revolution comes I'm just going to go lay out on my front lawn and hope for someone to kill me, rather than wait for death by slow starvation because I have no hunting or gathering skills whatsoever. But you know me. I do like to look on the bright side of things.

[bybee]

I learned a newer, more efficient way to shell hardboiled eggs last weekend. I was ecstatic, so this book is probably right up my alley.

[carpinteyrosft]

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