Alternative titles for Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Imagine the Most Boring Woman You Know Telling You about Her Two Gifted and Talented Children

A Bunch of Stereotypes, Followed By a Bunch of Disclaimers, Followed By No Story At All

Parent This Way, Except It Didn't Work for Me 50% of The Time

People Will Buy Any Kind of Shit Book On Parenting, So Here You Go

I honestly don't know why this Amy Chua' book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother became a bestseller, or why it's gotten such a huge media barrage. I got to page 60, was bored, read the end, was bored, and was annoyed by whatever extra bits I read in the middle. Let me nutshell it for you: Pushy woman, in the name of being a "Chinese parent," pushes her kids to be their best at academics and music. Except she's not really a Chinese parent (which is just a convenient label for provoking outrage in the media; she says "I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish, and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise," p. 4), which is why she "lets" her second, rebellious daughter ease up a bit on the violin. (Her first daughter's personality was more amenable to being pushed, evidently, as she never really rebelled.) Seriously. That's the arc of the story.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just not in the mood for a book about these sort of rich people problems (Gasp! My child wants to take tennis rather than violin!) I know I don't have the time to read about some woman who needs her children to be the best at everything to do--and I certainly don't want to stop and think about the days when CRjr has to go to school and I might have to interact with parents like this. It's too depressing for words. Back to the library with this one.

Comments

[Angelique]

You had me with the alternative titles. Hilarious. I'm off to cancel my hold (I think I've moved up to a bazillion and one in the past month). Thanks so much for saving me from this but sorry you had to endure the first 60 pages.

[bybee]

Blech! I see Tiger Moms every day in Korea! I don't need to read about one and one who can't write very well. She should sit and practice writing and editing for hours and hours and no bathroom breaks!

[Katharine]

love it, rich people problems for sure, I'll let you know if I hear about any good parenting books, you might have to write one CR.

[Citizen Reader]

Angelique,
Well, thanks for thinking the alternative titles were funny rather than, you know, unreasonably angry. I'd like to say leave it on hold and see what you think, but...nah. Especially if you can only have so many holds on your card.

Bybee,
Boy, hang in there. Seeing a bunch of mothers this driven for this children's sake (or theirs?) would wear me down. Of course I've seen a lot of parents who ignore their kids too, which is not right, but come on...happy medium anyone?

Katharine,
The parenting book I'd like to write has already been written: "The Three-Martini Playdate." (By Christie Mellor.) :)

[Rick Roche]

When Laura was little, I tried to read numerous parenting books, but eventually gave up, as there was not much of any value. Love and attention with a bit of kind discipline are all you need. You might need a little medical advice now and then.

[Citizen Reader]

Thanks for the tips, Rick! I also heard about something called Triple Paste from a friend yesterday, it's supposed to be good for diaper rash. So: love, attention, kind discipline, triple paste.

I don't actually read parenting books, I kind of skim them for amusement, the way I do business books. Like it's a world I'll never understand but it's fun to see the lingo. Or something like that.

[Susan]

I lived and taught in China. There are plenty of slacker kids and average mothers. I read in Beijing City Weekend a piece on how most Chinese mom's just require their children to finish their homework and practice the piano an hour a day if that.

[Citizen Reader]

Susan,
Thanks for the view from the ground. I figured as much--that's why a lot of Chua's book is spent first propagating the stereotype of the pushy Asian mother, and then a lot of time is spent backing away from it--there's all types of mothers in all types of societies.

[Care]

I have always thought parenthood must be a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't and/or lucky-if-they-turn-out-somewhat-normal-and move-out kind of thing.
I have a grade-school memory of my mother scoffing at the Child-Rearing books and wondering why she thought she was an expert who knew better.

[Citizen Reader]

Care,
I think you have a pretty good grasp of what parenthood seems to entail (damned if do, damned if don't, etc.).
My mom didn't have much time for child-rearing books (or anything else, but work!) but she must have been a natural--I wish I was half as good as her, even though I may read more. Sometimes I think the reading just confuses you more than anything else. But it's all I know to do, really, so I'll probably keep looking at these books, out of curiosity if nothing else.

[Jennifer]

The sad thing is that Chua's book overshadowed her husband's excellent novel, "The Death Instinct", which came out around the same time. That wasn't planned very well...

[Citizen Reader]

Jennifer,
I read his first book (The Interpretation of Murder? Was that the title?) and remember enjoying it, although I can't remember it very well (which often happens to me with fiction). I'm glad to hear the new one is good too.

It's very odd they came out at the same time...this seems like a woman who plans everything, and much more carefully than that. Interesting.