I at least like my manifestos to be helpful.

I was thoroughly annoyed by Charles J. Selden's The Consumerist Manifesto Handbook: The Guerilla's Guide to Making Corporations Pay for Faulty Goods, Substandard Services, and Broken Promises.

Although I don't really have the energy to become a "consumer guerrilla," I do largely agree with the author that most corporations are out to make cheap, sell high, and by no means to provide anything approximating decent customer service. Largely I deal with this belief by striving not to buy anything I don't have to, but invariably, there are things a person needs.* And because I am the world's worst shopper, I somehow always manage (I feel) to get taken advantage of. So I thought this would be a handy little book for learning a few techniques for making complaints and actually getting them resolved.

Sadly: not so. Selden spends most of his book describing ways in which corporations take advantage of consumers (through various methods such as rushing goods to market; accepting a certain number of defects in their products because they'll make more money off them than they'll have to spend in resolving complaints; quality fade; customer disservice; etc.). Yeah, you're preaching to the choir here, Selden, I already KNOW that's what corporations are doing. I'm not saying a little background isn't helpful, but this is all old news for anyone who has bought any consumer goods in the past ten years.

Selden is also very good at relating stories about what a clever consumer guerrilla he is, most of which I just found obnoxious. Consider:"When I buy a prepackaged bag of food labeled fresh, I put any suspicious pieces--in their original containers--in the Returns Area of our pantry...Going to the minor trouble of retaining a couple of potatoes from a 5-pound bag, or even a couple of berries from a 1-pound box, nets me refunds for the entire container. Food retailers charge more for food because it is labeled 'fresh,' reason enough to raise consumerist expectations. Every potato and every berry had better be good--and fresh--or I'll expect a refund for the whole package--even if the majority was consumed." (p. 42.)

Now, that paragraph raises all sorts of questions. Were the majority of the foods they consumed actually "fresh" enough to meet their expectations, with one or two truly offending potatoes or berries really being "unfresh," or was the author just pulling a fast one, getting a refund for food already eaten?**

Later on the author discusses his wife's predilection for fancy-name clothes from Bergdorf Goodman***, and how he bought her a Barbara Bui suit on sale for $370 (marked down from $1,850), mailing it back to BG after ten months because its "feathery lapels" had started to lose feathers, and asking for an explanation or replacement. When they didn't hear back for a month, they called BG, who could confirm they had received the suit back but couldn't find it. Eventually BG offered to compensate them for losing the suit, asking them what they paid for it originally. The author's answer? The truthful (but again: dicey morally?) gambit, "I think it sold for around $1,800." BG offered a credit of $1,250, and the author took it, making $880 off a suit his wife wore for ten months.

I don't know what you think about that, but I'll tell you what I think: Gross. 

A greater problem with the book is that, although you may pick up some consumerist tips buried in the author's self-congratulating stories, the actual section on how to deal successfully with corporations that have you screwed you over only constitutes about twenty pages of the book (pages 155 through 172). It contains some not unhelfpul suggestions: have a couple of credit cards ready to use so you can always dispute charges on one or the other, document your purchases, write letters and find company officer names and phone numbers so you can call them at times amenable to you, not them, and so on. The appendix listing online resources is also not unhelpful.

But all in all: start your consumer guerrilla career by not spending the $14.95 on this book.

*The other day Mr. CR said to me, "hey, you have a big tear in your shorts, in a fairly obvious spot" (meaning, "I can see your underwear, and I don't want to, and neither do our neighbors"). And I said, "Oh NO...this is my one pair of shorts!" I can only hope that hot weather doesn't return any time soon.

**I get his larger point. Corporations shouldn't charge a premium for "freshness" if they can't back it up. But this is a level of semantics--and deliberations with front-line grocery store workers--to which I am simply too lazy to go. And I remember what I used to think of shoppers who came back to my farmers' market stand, demanding refunds for my produce that they'd eaten. It was not kind.

***How hilarious is that? Even when such "name" merchandise is on sale, talk about "made-up" value, that consumers impose upon themselves. I don't think you can blame companies for that one.

Comments

[Ruthiella]

Feathery lapels? Yikes.

How do you feel about thrift stores CR? I mean for shorts replacement? I haven't actually shopped at one in ages, but in high school/college a large percentage of my clothes (except underwear) were second hand.

[Teresa]

Wow. That produce story is just ... wow. I mean, I get my produce through a CSA, usually picked the day before I get it, and there's sometimes a bad berry or icky bit of lettuce in the bag. I would expect packaged stuff from the grocery store to be cleaner maybe, but perfection?
When my mom gets packaged food that doesn't live up to her expectations (usually because of a decline in quality from past purchases), she almost always calls the 800 number on the package to complain. I'm too lazy for that, but she's happy to do it, usually gets some coupons out of it, and doesn't have to give grief to a grocery store worker who had nothing to do with the product's quality anyway. (She worked in grocery stores for most of her career. She would complain to them only about stuff they handled--produce, meat, out-of-date stuff still on the shelves.)

[Citizen Reader]

Ruthiella,
Oh, I loves the thrift stores. We've got a number of great ones in my area; I just have to get there. I always preferred to shop the Eddie Bauer Outlet online, because I knew what size I was there and then I didn't have to, you know, shop, but even the Outlet's getting a little pricey these days.
p.s. I fixed "shorts" and deleted your other comment. I knew what you meant. :)

Teresa,
Yeah, "wow" was one word that came to mind regarding the author's stories. There were a few others but I'm trying to cut down on the profanity.
Good for your mom. It really does come down to a matter of energy and time--the lack of which corporations do exploit, I know.

[lee / wild mountain]

By the examples you've given, seems this author's ethics are as sorry as the big corporations. Maybe worse.

[Bybee]

He sounds like an ass.

[Citizen Reader]

Lee, Bybee:

Agreed on both points.

[Marija]

Thanks for warning us off this book. I agree completely that the author's ethics are lacking.

[Charles J. Selden]

I am the author of the book. Since I agree with Oscar Wilde--the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about--I am not unhappy with the review.

But I do take issue with condemnations of my ethics. That is exactly what corporations love: They want consumers to use morality systems that will be the least troublesome to corporations. That way corporations dodge paying for defective products, deceptive advertising, shoddy customer support and lobbying against consumer interests. My way to beat corporations that abuse consumers is to treat corporations the way they treat consumers. I use their ethics to get compensation from them when products or services fail to work the way they should have.

Using the word "ethics" without defining the source or the details you have in mind sounds like it was taken from a stump speech. My ethics and their sources are clear: Corporations and the CEOs who cheat and deceive consumers. My stories are perhaps like parables with some laughs thrown in.