The marriage balance sheet.
Shared vocabulary.

Gotta love writers...

...unless, of course, you're related to them.

I enjoyed parts of One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk about Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities of Truly Modern Love, edited by Rebecca Walker. (What I didn't enjoy was that needlessly long subtitle.)

Polyamory The collection includes essays by Jenny Block, asha bandele, Dan Savage, ZZ Packer, Neal Pollack, and Judith Levine. I skipped the one about polyamory, because, frankly, the idea of two husbands gives me the heebies (please note: this is not because Mr. CR is hard to live with; this is because I am hard to live with). I found Savage's adoption story interesting, and I thoroughly enjoyed Levine's essay about money matters when you don't get married, but I loved Pollack's (Pollack is also the author of the enjoyable memoir Alternadad) essay, about the ugly realities of living together in a marriage, particularly when both partners work at home:

 "I'm not a househusband and Regina isn't a housewife. Neither of us particularly likes to upkeep. Though we're happy most of the time, Regina and I often say that if we could afford a cleaning service, or any kind of service, once a week or even once a month, it would help our marriage enormously. But we can't, so instead we wade through our unspecific roles, doing the best we can, trying to keep the living room free of spiderwebs. This creates mild tension, which manifests itself in conversations, usually when the kid isn't home, like:

'Why don't you do the fucking dishes?'

'Why don't you do the fucking dishes?'

'Because I don't fucking want to, that's why. So can you tell me why the kitchen floor is such a mess?'

'I don't know. Why don't you fucking clean it?"" (p. 140.)

Now that, unlike a conversation about polyamory, is a conversation I can relate to.

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